Former English leader Lewis Moody has announced he has been identified with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet deal with the full consequences of the muscle-wasting condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was involved in the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and won numerous English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after finding out he has the disease.
"There's something about facing the future and hesitating to really process that at the present time," he stated.
"It isn't that I don't understand where it's progressing. We understand that. But there is definitely a reluctance to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, talking together with his wife Annie, says rather he feels "peaceful" as he focuses on his current health, his family and planning ahead for when the disease worsens.
"Maybe that's surprise or perhaps I process things uniquely, and after I have the facts, it's more manageable," he stated further.
Early Signs
Moody found out he had MND after noticing some reduced power in his shoulder area while training in the gym.
After rehabilitation failed to improve the condition, a set of scans showed neural pathways in his neurological system had been affected by MND.
"You receive this diagnosis of MND and we're rightly extremely emotional about it, but it's so strange because I sense that everything is fine," he continued.
"I don't sense sick. I don't feel sick
"My symptoms are rather minimal. I have a bit of muscle wasting in the hand and the shoulder.
"I continue to be able to performing all activities. And optimistically that will carry on for as long as is possible."
Condition Progression
MND can develop swiftly.
According to the charity MND Association, the condition kills a one-third of people within a 365 days and more than half within two years of detection, as ingestion and respiration become more difficult.
Medical care can only retard worsening.
"It's not me that I experience sorrow for," stated an emotional Moody.
"It's the grief around having to inform my mum - as an sole offspring - and the ramifications that has for her."
Personal Consequences
Conversing from the household with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overcome with sentiment when he discussed breaking the news to his sons - teenage Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the devastating news, commenting: "That represented the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two excellent boys and that was rather devastating," Moody stated.
"We positioned ourselves on the couch in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog bounded over and commenced cleaning the tears off our faces, which was rather silly."
Moody explained the focus was being in the present.
"We have no cure and that is why you have to be extremely strongly directed on just accepting and enjoying all aspects now," he stated.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been truly blessed that the primary decision I made when I concluded playing was to devote as much time with the kids as possible. We don't get those years back."
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Professional sportspeople are excessively affected by MND, with studies suggesting the rate of the condition is up to six times higher than in the general population.
It is considered that by limiting the oxygen available and causing damage to motor neurone cells, frequent, intense exercise can activate the disease in those previously predisposed.
Athletic Career
Moody, who earned 71 England caps and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in recognition of his courageous, persistent method to the game.
He competed through a fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once caused a training-ground altercation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he discarded a practice gear and started participating in collisions.
After coming on as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the rear of the set piece in the critical moment of play, establishing a platform for playmaker Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the game-deciding drop kick.
Backing System
Moody has previously informed Johnson, who led England to that victory, and a few other former team-mates about his diagnosis, but the others will be learning his news with the rest of public.
"There shall be a period when we'll need to lean on their assistance but, at the present, just having that sort of care and acknowledgment that people are present is all that matters," he stated.
"This game is such a great community.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even should it ended now, I've appreciated all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"Being able to call your love your vocation, it's one of the most important blessings.
"Achieving this for so extended a time with the teams that I did it with was a delight. And I understand they will desire to assist in any way they can and I look forward to having those conversations."
